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Pain Travels Through Families

"Pain travels through families until someone is ready to feel it.

For many of us, our generational curse is avoidance.

We come from people who just act like it didn't happen.

But pain demands to be felt, and somewhere along the line a child will

be born whose charge it is to feel it all.

These are the ones who are born with the gift of feeling.

And as we all know, you can't heal the pain that you refuse to feel." - Anonymous

 

Most of your limiting beliefs, negative self talk, unhealthy coping mechanisms, negative ways of being and communicating didn’t start with you and are not yours to carry. 

 

These have been passed down unconsciously from generation to generation. Not from a malicious place, but simply because the past generations didn’t have the awareness or tools to do the inner work and heal. 


The negative generational cycles truly end when one person decides to question things, become conscious, get curious about where these thoughts and ways of being stem from, go into the depths of the darkness and shadow self, FEEL all the pain and heal. To go on a self-love journey, back home to self.

 

It ends when you choose to view yourself through the lens of unconditional love. 

 

To live authentically, not based off what society deems as normal or successful, but what feels true for you. 

 

To fully and completely see, hear, accept, validate and love yourself. 

 

To sit in the uncomfortable and feel your emotions instead of running from and suppressing them with unhealthy ways of being. 

 

To prioritize yourself and know that it is safe to communicate your authentic needs, desires and wants.

 

To learn how to respond vs react and live from a regulated state.

 

To learn how to get curious and work through your triggers by seeing your inner child and teenager.

 

To communicate and navigate challenging conversations instead of avoiding them. 

 

To integrate all past versions of yourself, forgive and accept them fully and completely. 

 

To know that you are enough and have always been enough, that your are whole exactly as you are. 

 

To know that all the love you need is inside of you. 

 

Doing this inner work will break the cycle of avoidance, suppression, repression, inauthenticity and mental illness.

 

Consciousness and awareness are the first steps to change. If you're interested in diving deeper into the generational patterns in your family, It Didn't Start With You by Mark Wolynn is a beautiful place to start. It is such a profound book that supported me in creating a deeper understanding of patterns showing up in my family.

 

I have come to understand that the need to be perfect and the deep-seated fear of rejection were the root causes of my eating disorder and my unhealthy relationship with myself. Although eating disorders do not run in my family, the need to look a certain way and portray a certain image to feel worthy of love runs deep in my family lineage, manifesting differently for each person.

 

I discovered I had been thinking my way through life, constantly worried about how I was coming off, what other people were thinking of me, which led to severe social anxiety and constant self-criticism, thinking something was wrong with me.

 

But, you see, we are not meant to think our way through life; we are meant to feel our way through life. Following what feels true for you, even if it does not logically make sense. Speaking from the heart, from a place of authenticity. Not from a place of saying what you think other people want to hear and what will be socially acceptable.

 

When we think our way through life and are stuck in our minds, we unconsciously place a mask on to the outside world in order to fit in and be normal, cutting off the most beautiful parts of ourselves, which leads to anxiety and depression, further disconnecting us from ourselves.

 

I have come to realize my relationship with food and my body was a byproduct of the relationship I had with myself. Never feeling good enough or worthy. It is all so deeply connected.

 

When I began to heal my relationship with myself, allow myself to fully feel my emotions and see myself through the lens of unconditional love, seeing the younger parts of myself that needed to be seen, heard, loved, accepted, and validated, I began to heal my relationship with my body and food. I began creating a deeper understanding of myself, getting to the root of where my eating disorder stemmed from and liberating myself.

 

By participating in this inner healing, creating a deeper understanding of passed-down thought patterns, ways of being, unhealthy coping mechanisms, it has and will continue to have a ripple effect on my family and the next generations to come.

 

You can only meet people as deeply as you have met yourself, and I have gone deep into the dark depths of my soul, feeling all the pain and sadness along the way. I do this not only for myself but for my family, my ancestors, for women, for the children, for the collective.

 

It is only in doing my inner work that I can help others get to the other side because I promise you, it IS possible to feel good, to love yourself fully and completely, to live authentically, and to have the tools to maneuver whatever life throws your way.

 

If you're seeking support to heal your relationship with yourself, your body, and food, know that you're not alone. I would love to talk about how I can best support you on this journey. Click here to schedule your free call with me today.

 

You are the cycle breaker for your family lineage and the next generations to come. Liberating yourself, your family, and our ancestors.

 

The time is now, and you are not alone. I see you, I love you, and I honor you. Thank you.

 

Sending you my love,

Holly

 


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